Tuesday, January 10, 2012

On Rastafari And Relationships: One Viewpoint

"It is not easy to identify readily the gender of a bird or what is inside a man’s heart." 
Ethiopia
"So many little things make a man love a woman in a big way."
Ghana


The following is an exert from a conversation/reasoning in a Facebook group.  The entire thread was much too long to copy here and the group is closed so no link is available.  But I wanted to post this to offer one view on romantic love within Rastafari because it seems a very important issue to many adherents, though one not often spoken of openly.  Please bear with me as I have stated, it picks up in the middle of the conversation.
Kwasi Abahu

....You spiced this one right up to say the least.  I completely agree with point 1.  Countenance must count for far more than attire and appearance and yet it is that which allows us to recognize who has stepped off the broad way, so to speak. 

Point 2 is a little tricky: as evident by the length and depth of it(previous post) as well.  I can only really speak for myself, though these reasoning's have been had by brethren and me over the years also.  I will say too that simply because a Woman does not trod this livity, Rastafari, does not mean she is lost to the world.  In fact, I have met ones who while not trying to convert themselves are willing and found able to hold onto principle just the same. 

Trust me when I say, as a Man, that through my experience, no Woman is any 'easier' than another per say.  Not to disparage any one, mind you, but while it may appear so for you as a Woman, the Man that chooses outside this livity does so with a completely different set of issues to contend with.  And again as with attire, it boils down to countenance and simple attraction and getting along with.

I think, oft times, we play down attraction as that of a wanton quality and not as a necessary component of relationships.  But this is quite counter-intuitive to nature.  In fact, right now I see with my own little one, that while her mother and I never displayed any lewd affection in front of her, that she saw some type of mutual attraction, which taught her that it is sometimes as important as any other components.  Imagine a youth watching his father look at his mother with the kind of disgust that one might.  Not a pleasant lesson to teach a little one.  You spoke of contradictions: wouldn’t it be one for a Man or Woman to be in a marriage of conscious livity but always looking in the world for spice of life?

Yes, there are significantly more Man than Woman in this Mansion.  Actually when you speak to others from other Mansions, it is much the same.  Furthermore, if you look at most ‘spiritual’ walks, you will see the same disparities.  What is curious to note is that if my recall is correct, there are more Woman on the face of the earth than Man.  So then what contributes to and fosters such imbalance?  Are Woman not drawn to this in the same manner?  Of those that are, what keeps them?  It is hardly correct to suspect it is a Man for those who see the truth in this life.  That knowledge, would guide us to a wisdom and understanding of how to swell the Woman's ranks.  Maybe much, and I reiterate MUCH, is being lost in translation.

You know Empress, the African proverb, “If you educate a man you educate an individual, but if you educate a woman you educate a family (nation).” Probably Fanti (Ghana) So as you said, Empress in this livity have different motivations and truly different methods of showing example to their youth.  Not attempting to absolve the brethren them of any responsibility.  I’m just saying that there is a reason that such ancient proverbs are with us to this day. 

Man have an innate ability to soldier it out in solitude and thus when relationships are made with outsiders, it becomes just that.  And when said relationships expire, as they often do, (I blame that on the fact that we are extremely hesitant to ‘marry’ legally and will always suffer the consequences of that choice. Something the League could and should well discuss: should we have marriage rites in this House? Legal marriage rites?) what matters to me most is that my children are with a Woman that will educate them to be a superb intellect, as I continue to take the same responsibility and also play my role in forging and tuning their spirituality. 

I came to this livity later in life and that I found my way home because of the education of proper discernment, I expect much the same for my youth.  In that sense, it matters little whether their mother trods Rastafari.  Now I do realize that for me and my sanity within a relationship and for the overall sanity of the children raised in that house for the duration of said relationship, it only makes sense that I deal with a Rastafari Woman.  I’ve had too many examples that help me to that determination. 

I will also say one thing that may be relevant: I have no interest in a Woman who has already been with a brother.  Point blank period.  That is not to be harsh but I simply cannot understand how we, especially within the House, for that matter any House that deals with this, can so readily jump to the next.  Jump to a one who has made a bond with a brethren or sistren.  It boggles me.  I realize that it happens plenty, but I see it as completely unacceptable.  And again, I speak for myself, I have done the Woman with children thing, and that carries its own set of issues.  Especially for ones who care about children in the way one can.  Father to the fatherless indeed, but that does not preclude that I need be involved with the mother to live up to the Creed.  It is an issue for the adults, as well as the children involved.

These are my issues beloved.  None can be separated from the other.  I don’t know how things are anywhere else, or in the camp livity for that matter either.  But we have to face certain realities and address them immediately.  The Woman in this House need discuss these matters also.  Because it affects the next few generations in a much larger way that great foresight alludes to.  Let us use this time, during such a wonderful Black Ethiopian Christ-mass, and before our New Year approaches, to enter that year with better Nia/purpose as to family and the ties that bind us, both spiritually and temporally.

I am not sure if all matters concerning the family can be addressed so academically but there is text from the book of 1st Corinthians chapter 7, exert from verses 8-20, that follows and was given to me early in the trod of Rastafari, Boboshanti specifically:

1 Corinthians 7, 8-20:
8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
 9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
 10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
 12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
 13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
 16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
 17But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
 18Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
 19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
 20Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
Blessed love one and all.  I leave you with 7 words of peace and love given me by our Father, “I have given you Commandments, use them.”  There is still much to be learned and taught by all of us.

Wadada

Addendum:
One point about the 'marriage issue' within Rastafari livity.  On reasoning with a Sistren one conclusion was reached: it is a necessary rite for us to maintain the perpetuity of our lineage.  H.I.M. was wed.  Hon. Marcus Garvey was wed, don't watch how many times.  It is not simply about the wedding ceremony, as I myself had argued and fought against for many years.  There is a legal framework and foundation that marriage provides and affords our little ones.  Further, it seems a bit more than a little contrary, that it is not something that can be administered to within the Mansions, without outside officials to 'watch over' as though we are children and don't take fully serious the meditation of the trod we are on.  If a Justice of the Peace or a Notary, is sufficient enough to certify such affairs simply by being privy or witness, then we must take the steps, within all Mansions that have not done so as yet, to move towards having our own clergy or lay clergy certified thusly. 
These are still only my own views as recorded, but I could and would argue that they may also be the opinions of many already walking this trod and many more who sight this as the livity for themselves.  Besides, how many other people would like for their own wedding ceremony to be performed by Rastafari faithful,  sighting the livity Supreme amongst the nations of men?  We would be wise to look into such matters and discern for ourselves a way through the miry clay, with Our God and King championing the cause and piloting the way.  Give thanks for the moment.  Love to all faithful soldiers of Rastafari.  "Father is Love, so let us love."

Guidance

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